My Grief


Glowing from the sermon
at her church of God. He
pops open Budweiser, 
lighting a Camel non-filter.
  (The first cigarette I smoked)
Grandparents bringing me up
since birth. Fifteen years, my
joyous childhood stopped
abruptly. Strolling cocky out
of detention only to find a 
friend’s mom waiting. 
Stroke. D.T.’s from alcohol.
Nicotine patches, may as 
well be stickers on him.
Happy home, rearranged,
accommodating a hospital
bed, he lay in for just over a
year. Friends not seeing why,
I skipped homecoming, parties,
for headsets, rude people barking
orders, Wendy’s. Seventeen, 
three months left. Time to sweep
across the stage, receive the
diploma I earned. He was gone.
Her first love, only lover, forty two 
years, gone. Sitting beside her,
listening, pastor’s words of 
rejoicing. Our loved one, a 
better place than here with us.
Her time to grieve. Put faith into
a God, a God at thirty six, I
have not found. Not searched out.
She is gone now too. I carry
my grief on my own.


@ donetta sifford 12-31-2012
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