Stained Tomorrows

Need to purify my soul
Cleanse my mind of thoughts of you
Shelve my heart to let it mend
I’m still broken and tainted
Can’t get close to touch you
You’ll only infect me again
Blame lingers all over me
Everyone knows I came to you
Wanting to fill the void inside
Thought I’d use up what you offered
Walk away, not be bothered
Now I’m shamed, with no pride

Let you violate who I am
Stained all my memories I preserved
Some days can be barely handled
Don’t know when my weakness won’t show
Tremble when you call my name
Dream about your corruption covering me
Taught me how not to care
Inviting to take me there once more
But my sun is covered with blemishes
Scars on my body help me remember
Not to give in to your allure

The grey clouds around my good times
My price to pay so I can let you go
Baby steps until I’m stable
2 forward, 3 back but I vision the 12
Learning your false happiness
Revealed some flawed people too
This recovery can be tiring 
Carrying your reputation everywhere 
Hard to meet gazes in a room
Just to say ‘Hi. I’m here too’
I yearn for the knowledge not to feel
Reality can seem so surreal
Fighting hard just for today
Maybe tomorrow I’ll look less polluted
Will you please not block the way

@donetta sifford 3-19-2013


9 responses

  1. This could be put to music. Good flow!

  2. Loved the play on the steps!

  3. you have been nominated for best blog award. I don't know what it is, it seems to works 😉

  4. Very cool work (:

  5. Well done! The last line is just perfect.

  6. I'm just blown away by this. Very real and well done.

  7. This was a powerful poem – especially the last stanza. Well done!

  8. I really took to your last last Stanza – very good take on the prompt.

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