Lucky Break


Loosely leaning forward from the back seat,
to talk with the passenger, ignore the driver.
Anger seething through her as he stepped on the gas,
lunging the vehicle forward, gathering momentum.
Determined to catch up with the other car,
he had zoomed past, then let whiz by him.
Noticing the troubled look on the passenger’s face,
she glanced at the speedometer, the car ahead, closer.
Could they possibly be going 100 miles per hour?
Vague memories of the passenger’s words;
“Just let him go on man, slow down!”
Her own voice seemed like a whisper;
“Please slow down, you’re scaring me?”
Flash of break lights in front of them.
Swerving hard to go around the other driver.
She felt unclear, striking the side of the other car.
Hearing her boyfriend, driving, cursing.
Funeral pace, she could see the embankment,
they were slowly sliding toward it,
as if they had hours to prevent the unstoppable. 
Then everything jumped faster in time.
Glass shattering, metal crunching, that’s all she hears.

Light headed, blurred vision, trying to recall 
why she was lying in gravel, shirt gone.
Ambulance, a loud voice telling her not to move,
 she may have broken her neck and back.
Faintly asking where the other two were,
in and out of cloudy moments.
Not sure what was real, then the passenger was holding her hand.
He was comforting her, helping her cover her body,
telling her they had flipped end over end.
Drifting in and out she ask how he was, her man?
All the passenger would release was he himself,
he was fine, her boyfriend was hanging on.
Fear and darkness consuming her.
She barely could ask, “Am I paralyzed?”
Ambulance lady again, loud in her hurting head,
“We are pretty sure not, but stop trying to get up.
You are lucky the way you skidded that you are alive.”
She wasn’t aware she’d been trying to get up.
Hearing them say the driver, her lover, was responding,
she let the sleepiness consume her.

@ donetta sifford 3-26-2013

On to the weekly prompt. Pay attention to the third definition, as always. Good lucky! 

LUCKY (adjective)

1: having good luck
2: happening by chance : fortuitous
3: producing or resulting in good by chance : favorable

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7 responses

  1. lol Draug. The lone driver that slammed on his brakes survived. The driver that had two passengers also survived…….. we lasted 4 more years and had 2 beautiful girls before the jerk finally left. 🙂

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  3. Great story. Loved the pace and the jumbling of words to simulate the confusion. Great technique.

  4. Rash driving is the cause of so many tragedies-loss of life & limb!This is so well described in your piece Donetta,.loved it:-)

  5. I like the choppiness but now I must know how it ends! Does the jerk driver survive???

  6. Yes, as Sandra says, the choppy telling gives it the disconnected air of damaged memory. (hope it was fiction!)

  7. The way you've written this, in broken snatches of memories, is redolent of the way I guess it feels after a serious accident, drifting in and out of consciousness. I enjoyed this – well done

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