Somehow Begin Again

cannot begin to assemble
in my mind, all the emotions
shared between you and i

even if i could bring order
to each event of our time
the aftermath would remain
unchanging, unforgiving, sad

hard to hold back the tears
too painful to sort through
all the laughter, talks, anger
better forgotten how it ended

rather the memories not surface
pretend i never felt anything
pack all that was us tightly away
start over without you in my life

to begin again and fake a smile
move forward with hope at dawn
that each day i grow stronger
until the tears on my pillow dry

begin again and embrace change
right now i can’t fathom this
my heart foolish wants to decode 
why my happiness unraveled 
somehow my mind comprehends
to let go of thoughts of any joy

find a way to bring myself 
to begin again, stop loving you

@ donetta sifford 4-5-2013

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