Resisting Tomorrow

feeling so unprotected, so unlike myself
only four days since pieces of me chipped
thought my heart was more resistant, durable
 but i lay broken and vulnerable
your heartless words were unyielding
hard to breathe through the pain
just like you to be so perverse
letting me think of forever with you
then ruthlessly tear me apart
if i could forget the tenderness
the way you held me for the last time
bringing me higher than i knew possible
“i love you girl” plays through my head
squeezing my blanket tight over my face
running the fan on high to drown out sounds
the careless, godawful silence is loud
resisting the notion to reach out for you
afraid you’ll finish destroying pieces of me
screaming only in whispers through tears
i’m still the girl whose laughter you loved
seven months opening my life up 
shouldn’t you know me better than this
maybe you’d be happy to see me a mess
cell phone thrown dead in a drawer
won’t talk to anyone, they can’t come in
they’d only interrupt memories of you
my days spent wishing they’d hurry
only do what i’m forced to do
stuck in this space not wanting anything
promised i wouldn’t get over you
so i’m still here 

@ donetta sifford for j.d.d. 

6 responses

  1. Thank you very much. 🙂

  2. This is certainly a powerful piece. Usually it takes time to see that all may be for the best. The shock of the hurt that is felt initially is transitory. There is still a lot of living to do. The piece is beautifully worded,

  3. Sometimes silence is loud, isn't it? You've touched my heart with this one.

  4. Liked it – Stuck in this place – Says so much and very thoughtful.

  5. very well done..I really liked “Screaming in silence”. It says so much. I sincerely hope this was not written from experience.

  6. You've captured the essence of heartbreak in this poem.

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