Mr. D. Refuses The Blessing

He wanted to unscrew and reorder
the stars to guide his lost beloveds back.
Instead, he shook his fist at heaven.
And like one of those willful boneheads
who back a swiveling truck 
wildly the wrong way up the road,
he reversed himself against all flows.
To what should he bow his head, which said
it was smartest of all?  On the tall
library ladder, he pulled down first one
heavy tome then another, but no book
ever raised him an inch.  He did not wish 
to be lifted but to climb himself;
not to receive grace, but to shape it
in his own clawed and hairy hands.
Hence he died high in the stacks,
his hand cobwebbed to the mystery shelf . . . 

By – Mary Karr – Viper Rum

I Shall Refuse Blessings

Staring into the abyss, wondering
not how to bring my loved ones back
from a heaven I deny.  Pondering
on whether the stories of souls
suffering in the fires of perdition 
were true;  especially of the 
tortured hearts such as mine
that in the end, put an end to it all?
I know as I sit here in darkness,
I cannot undo their death anymore
than I can turn the rain into snow.
Left behind, searching for a way
to be with all the ones I love, whom
parted with this life on good terms.
Brink of madness has set in, because
clearly I may not enter their heaven
if I exit my world at my own hands.

By – Donetta Sifford 

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