Story Behind This Innocent Face

On the way home from court. 8-8-2013

On the way home from court. 8-8-2013



My oldest daughter, 11, fixed the back of my hair for court. It looked lovely.

My oldest daughter, 11, fixed the back of my hair for court. It looked lovely.


For Mama Kat’s Writing Prompt, I chose to tell the story behind my latest Facebook profile photo.  That would be the one at the top.  Here is the story, told as shortly as possible.  I have two beautiful daughters, ages 11 and 7.  Their father and I split up in 2005, while I was still pregnant with our 7 year old.  Now, people, parents, couples, split up everyday.  Here is the thing for men and women, you split up with you partner………… not your child/children.  

Now, flashback for a moment in 2005.  Their father is 5 years younger than me.  He was in a panic over having two children.  In such a panic, he moved in immediately with my best friend’s younger sister, who had two daughters.  My oldest daughter and her younger daughter are the same age.  You can see he was thinking clearly.  Were her and I close?  To an extent, I did watch her grow up and had to deal with her because the ‘younger sister’ is part of the package of having a best friend.  

Close as in she assisted with my oldest daughter’s baby shower, cut and highlighted my hair, and we sold Beauti Control make-up together.  However, moving forward from 2005 until January 2012.  My children’s father and his gf had a son together who will be 4 this November.  She moved to Jacksonville, N.C. and my children’s father stayed here. January 2012 found him without a job.  He filed to take me back to court and amend his child support payments based on unemployment.  Let’s just say his child support was lowered a great deal.  I didn’t mind though because I am a reasonable person.  I had let go of my anger from 2007, when him and gf took me for custody, losing….. meaning I received sole custody and he received visitation.  That I, sadly enough, couldn’t pay him to keep right.  

Skipping ahead to summer of 2012, he finds work in Jacksonville, N.C. and moves there with gf and son.  My children went to visit last summer for what was supposed to be 2 weeks and turned into 4, because he couldn’t seem to get them home.  Jacksonville being close to a 7 hour drive from my home in Virginia. I finally ask his father to drive down and pick my girls up.   During all of this, I didn’t bother to take him for more child support. I only ask he pay what was ordered in 2012 based on him not having a job.  This seemed to be a problem for him.  Raising 2 girls, in school, is a bit expensive.  Finally, tax return season comes in January 2013.  Their father and I had a verbal agreement if I allowed him to claim the children.  He claimed them, the Division of Child Support Enforcement took out what he was behind for the year of 2012.  This upset him so our verbal agreement went out the window.

Around this time, our oldest daughter was looking at a new bed for her birthday.  Her father and the gf were having a wedding this summer and my girls, as well as gf’s 2 girls, and their son were supposed to be in wedding.  My girls’ father hurt my oldest daughters feelings over a $175 bed, which angered me enough to decide to take him to court and have his child support amended with him working.  I did allow my girls to go to Jacksonville this past June and be a part of their father’s wedding on June 22nd.  I may sound a bit immature and if so, oh well.  I see it this way, by law we are supposed to support our children equal.  With this being said, his child support from 2012 was hardly equal.  Him and gf, now wife, had a beautiful wedding, purchasing a new home, and new vehicles.  This is fine.  They seem to forget though that while the father of wife’s two girls lives here in the same town as I, is sending his child support, and they are building a great life for themselves, one of them has two children to support.  

We had court on 8-8-2013, just a couple weeks ago.  My oldest daughter is into fixing hair, because this is what her father’s wife does for a living.  She is very good at it.  My hair is natural frizzy.  She somehow tamed my curls in the back and they looked good.  My profile photo for Facebook is me on my way home from court on August 8, 2013.  Their father had some crazy notion that I would get less money than when he wasn’t working.  He was fairly rude and confident about it.  The judge here in Virginia frowned upon his lack of payment on his own, gave him a new amount to pay, and even ask did I want the new payments to begin in April when I had filed, because their father had that date postponed due to the wedding.  I fairly enough said no, that the beginning of August would be fine.  So, he was not so happy leaving the court.  I on the other hand was quite please with the fairness of the judge.   

Due to Mama Kat’s Writing Prompt, this story could have fallen under a time I wanted to punch someone the face also. Ha, 2 for 1.  Thanks everyone for listening to me clearly gloat. 


Mama's Losin' It



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