Jaded Soul






I happened upon her

dancing underneath
stars and moon, her
lithe body flowing
with music that played
through her headphones.
Eyes closed, hair swept up
carelessly, curls framed
her face, childlike. 
               Watching her move
with such grace, made me feel
awkward, clumsy somehow.
I kept walking, wanting distance
between that kind of beauty and
my hateful, jaded soul, adult like.

@ donetta sifford 9-3-2013
Written for: Trifecta
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20 responses

  1. lol. Thank you. I want to hate her, but then she has charm and I feel mean and heartless for hating her. 🙂

  2. As a self-proclaimed jaded soul, I can relate to this piece. I often envy people who live life with such abandon and acceptance of the world. However, I try to keep these people in my life to remind me not to take everything so seriously. Beautifully written!

  3. Thank you and I agree. Humans tend to hold onto grey instead of the pure.

  4. You built a beautiful scene and contrast in so few words. That's lovely work. Thank you for linking up. Please remember to return for the voting!

  5. Very strong piece – my hard heart can definitely relate.

  6. Oh, this is excellent! So much packed into so few words. Another great piece, Donetta. 🙂

    P.S.: I'm pretty sure I hate that young, skinny, beautiful chick too!

  7. Nice write, Donetta. We can't all go back to the beauty and innocence of childhood, but we can appreciate it when we come across it.
    Loved the rhythm of this, felt like I was watching a dance.

  8. Thank you. I was watching Alice in Wonderland with my daughters and I believe it was the cat or the March Hare that said that. 🙂

  9. Thank you very much for stopping by.

  10. Thank you!! That is a wonderful compliment. Glad you enjoyed it.

  11. Thank you so much for your compliments and yes, it was supposed to be face. lol. Thank you for letting me know, so I can fix it. 🙂

  12. Oh I like this a lot. Excellent work.

  13. I agree-a stunning piece! If only the pureness and innocence of childhood could make the jaded parts in all of us just go away:) Well done!

  14. this is very good Donetta!

    I like your subtitle of your blog too, soooo true. ;< ) embracing the crazy, that's what we've gotta do. Happy Wednesday, G

  15. Oh yes, the contrast between the exterior of the girl and the interior of the narrator is quite stunning.

  16. I like the contrast between the girl dancing with grace and the narrator's opinion of her own heart.

  17. Wow!This took my breath away, Donetta!It also brought to my mind Wordsworth's “The Solitary reaper”-simply mesmerizing!

  18. Donetta – you surprised me with that last line. Hateful seems such a stark contrast to what comes before. You have such a skill for poetic form. I always enjoy reading your Trifecta responses. :))

    (a very small typo I think: is it supposed to be face not faced?)

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