Rest In Peace

Image provided by Magpie Tales

Sentimental, I placed my testament

under stones to hold memories down.
Times when I feel unreserved 
I find my way here to relieve my guilt.
My moods change like the seasons.
You left me your mental illnesses.
A family heirloom would be nice
instead of the raging war in my head.
Try to be sincere with my visits.
Thoughts push their way forward
when I least expect them to.
In death as in life, you put a distance
between us, secretly writing demands.
Choosing a cemetery on a hill
where Autumn’s colors paint 
a magnificent background.
Small, white church, perched
on one side, looks peaceful.
A place where we knew noone.
Far away from any family ties.
Almost seems you wanted control
that you never had being alive.
I’m torn between hoping you 
found rest from being weary,
and wishing my stepfather
had ignored your hidden letter.
What kind of person am I? 

donetta sifford 10-20-2014


13 responses

  1. Thank you, Kay. It really is that simple. My mother and I weren't close. My grandparents raised me. When my mother passed away in 08, my step-father and I had expected her to be buried in the cemetery where our family has always been buried. He found a hidden letter she left, she had already bought a plot at a gorgeous church where none of us had ever attended, including her. So, he kept her wishes, and purchased my half sister and him two plots with her. 🙂

  2. Thank you for stopping by, Tess. I love that word, “simpatico.” I must remember to use it in a poem.

  3. Thank you so much, Carrie.

  4. Thank you, Helen. It felt good to write it down and then file it away.

  5. Thank you for stopping by, Ginny. There is a quote I read somewhere, probably at one of the rehab or mental illness facilities I have been in. It stuck with me through the years; “I still have bad days, but that's ok. I used to have bad years.”

  6. We are simpatico…

  7. This challenge brought an amazing emotional response from you, beautifully written.

  8. There is an interesting story behind this poem….

  9. Its ok to hate her , if she was an Ass …

  10. makes me want to know more…intriguing indeed..x

  11. We do inherit more than jewelry from our parents. I feel the hurt in your lovely poem Donetta. An amazing write.

  12. Bipolar, depression, SAD (seasonal affective disorder): a few of many mood changing afflictions. Life doesn't always play fair, the best one can hope for is to find some kind of balance and equilibrium. You have captured well the ambivalence of trying to hold onto love for someone who passed on their misaligned genes. Well captured indeed.

  13. Quite intriguing; well done.

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