Street Artist


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Street Artist – Pixbay

The ache that settled in

his kneecaps, forgotten.

His artist hands steadily

captured his prophetic

dreams that transitioned

into nightmares, depending

on the happy hour drink

served at some low-class bar.

Tequila brought visions

of the Messiah opening

arms wide to welcome

a drunkard home, forgiven.

Jack Daniels filled his sleeping

mind with childhood, a sister.

He ignored people gathering

around him on the sidewalk.

Money tossed in a western hat

would buy more bourbon, warm

sheets for a night in a cold motel.

It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate

contributions from admirers.

His focus was to put his thoughts

on paper, rid his head of noise.

Written for Yeah Write Challenge # 409 

7 thoughts on “Street Artist

  1. Thank you all for your replies. The line breaks at some parts definitely needed to be worked on. I appreciate your feedback.

  2. The structure of this carried its grittiness well. Most of the line breaks worked really well – the first two lines were perfect. Together and separately, they conveyed similar meaning and it really gave the piece depth.

  3. I liked your experiments with enjambment throughout this piece. How “warm” describes the bourbon at first. How “prophetic” creates a bit of a cliffhanger before we read “dreams.” I wasn’t sure how to read “would buy” with “It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate”. It seems he was appreciative to have the $$ to stay in a hotel room, or is the conditional line saying he _could_ spend the money on sensible things like hotel rooms but chooses not to?

    1. I see what you mean. I was meaning the money could buy those things but he chooses not to. I had a little trouble with the line breaks for some reason. Thank you for your feedback!

  4. I loved the opening of forgetting the pain in the kneecaps. I am no poet, but you carried that theme of being consumed by art and drink. All of it to self medicate .

  5. Beautiful!
    At a place or two, the line break sounded a bit odd, but I know it happens.

    1. Thank you. As I was rereading this just now I noticed the line breaks weren’t working in several places. Thank you for your feedback. I appreciate the honesty.

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