TTofT ~ Fake It Til You Make It

It seems hard at times to find the “thankful” when I feel more like saying, “No thanks!!!” to life.   As they always tell people in N.A. groups, even if you used, come to the meetings and practice sobriety, a “fake it til you make it” type of mantra.  So, I’ll apply that here today.

1.   Sunshine – This has been a rainy, cloudy, and lower temp type of week.  Today had the ‘blah’ stamp of approval.  Finally, the sun began to shine about 15 minutes ago.  I believe it’s proven in scientific facts, but I know for myself, the sunshine can change my moods, and the gloomy days take a toll on my bipolar mind.  So, I’m thankful to see the sun out.

2.   Good Books – Thankful that I have some good books that I don’t mind re-reading on a cloudy day.  Although I will be even more thankful when I get a chance to grab a new one.  I’m leaning toward “Gone Girl” as my next read. 

3.    Experiences – As I was reading Lizzi’s blog on Considerings, she reminded me that my 10th grade year of high school, our science teacher took 6 chosen students that had went above and beyond in his class, rock climbing in North Carolina on Stone Mountain.  600 ft. of climbing and it was scary, wonderful, and I am going to have to scan the photos the next chance I get.  I’m glad I have gotten many chances to expand my experiences, and looking forward to more. 

4.   Music –  It is true, that as well as the sun, music can uplift someone, remind them of past, can make them feel sad, loved, happy, lonely, and if it’s good music, you will feel as if the song was written and recorded just for you.  This reminds me of my recent trip to Pigeon Forge.  I was able to record on my phone two live bands during our stay and they were fabulous.  I wish I had thought to get their names and perhaps purchase a c.d.  Sidenote to self to look online and see if I round up anything. 

5.   Necessities –  I suppose I do tend to look at the more negative side of things and I don’t remember if I’ve always done so, or if throughout life, I began to do so without realizing it.  I think the latter applies because I don’t recall being anything but happy throughout my childhood, until my grandfather had a stroke when I was 16 and in the middle of my junior year in high school.  Then it seems when recovering from one death, another seems to come along, I began looking at life more harder and feeling more bitter.  So, I want to take a moment and be thankful that my children and myself have what we need.  What we need and what we want can get confusing and run together in my mind.  Once I begin to separate what I need and what I think I need, and then what I want, I realize we have food, shelter, clothes, water, electricity, and the bills get paid, even if a struggle at times.  Then we have things we don’t necessarily need but make the days go by faster, for them t.v., for me the internet and radio, for my youngest her bike.  The small family I do have are caring and loving and so life isn’t so gloom after all.

6.  Pilates –  I am trying to lose weight at the moment.  This hasn’t been a problem for me until recently.  Willpower to stick to an exercise program is where I struggle most.  I still enjoy my evening walks with my god-daughter, my girls, and my two great god-sons.  But when the weather isn’t permitting, and I know I need to add a little bit more, I finally found a Pilate challenge for 30 days.  I haven’t gotten bored and they seem to be doing what they are intended to do.  I’ll admit I have slacked for the past week.  Also, I found the challenge bookmarked because it was to begin 30 days before Memorial Day and I bookmark things like this and forget about them.  Then in my useless attempt to organize things, I stumble across outdated challenges, outdated submissions for literary mags that I mean to submit a poem to, and other such things.  With this though, I figured that better now than never. 

7   My children – This is actually my children and my close loved ones.  Recently, things have happened that are unfair in my opinion.  Living in a small town and with everyone being so close, it has it’s ups.  The downs can really get a person down though.  I will just say that as a mother, I have made mistakes, but overall my girls are well- balanced, know they are loved, exceed in school, and feel free to talk to me about life’s little ups and downs.  We get tested all through life – tested for a driver’s license, tested throughout school, tested for employment, tested on our beliefs, but there are no study guides and then an exam when having children.  We all know how we were raised, we even believe before having children that we will be different or the same as our parents.  This doesn’t happen.  Sure, there are millions of books and articles to read about parenting.  I can’t think of one person who remembers these books when situations in life occur.  I even took Child Care in high school.  Overall, I know there are times I deserve an F and times I deserve an A+.  Thankfully, children are forgiving and resilient creatures.

8.  Blogs – Not only have I found wonderful people throughout the Blogging World, and amazing prompts, such as this one, but I’m thankful I have a place I can turn to and reflect on things I’m thankful for, things I don’t realize until typing, and a place I can keep all my poetry and little random things that make me happy.  I like Facebook, don’t check Twitter as much as I should, and definitely need to post more in my blogs, but just the same, my blogs are my favorite by far on the internet life. 

9.  Sleep – I am grateful for sleep because of insomnia.  I’m also grateful sometimes when life seems to get me down, I can sleep and wake up refreshed and feeling like I can handle anything life throws my way. 

10.  Laughter – Laughter is healthy, healing, and the best laughter sometimes happens when I’m alone and watch a movie that makes me laugh. Or a book I’m reading has a witty sentence that makes me laugh along with the characters.  Memories of silly things that bring a smile to my face.  I think that’s the best laughter of all.  Thankfully, I made it through this week, and am finished with my post for Ten Things of Thankful.  YaY.

 

 

 

 

 

”Ten

A Good In Every Bad

Ten Things of Thankful

 

 

Oh I have been slacking big time.  Sorry Lizzi!  Here are Ten Things of Thankful!

 

1.  My boyfriend’s cousin owed him money and since he works on computers and this and that, he sent me a newer laptop with Windows 8 on it, but I don’t have a router, and frankly wasn’t impressed.  My laptop I had purchased fairly cheap from my boyfriend’s step sister over a year ago, the battery never worked, hence part of the fairly decent price.  I need a router because my two girls received tablets for Christmas, and my oldest daughter’s t.v. will go online.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  2.  The part in number 1 where I said I wasn’t impressed, well, I’m using the laptop with Windows 8 on it because the very next night I was talking to my best friend who is staying here for awhile, and spilled my soda on my keyboard of the fairly cheaper laptop I’ve always used.  So, I’m thankful I had this one to even get online with.  Though, I’m still a fan of Windows 7.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   3.   The pop thing……….. I sat my computer up and dried it off, watching as pop poured out the side.  I had no rice and my hair dryer has been on the fritz and frankly, with my curly hair, I haven’t bothered to buy another one.  So, my boyfriend’s brother who is computer friendly, advised me to sit it up on it’s side and let the fan blow on low in the back of it.  I have a woodstove and I’m sure I mentioned my boyfriend’s uncle has the vents where a fan kicks on and blows heat upstairs.  The fans are located in my daughters’ rooms.  So, by sitting my computer up in my daughter’s room and having a small fan, I turned it on a little ways from the heat vent.  It had turned on for a second when my boyfriend’s brother was messing with it and I haven’t tried it yet, because I have been busy.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   4.  See number 1 – 3………. I love my photos.  I have a flash drive I had purchased at Radio Shack a couple years back.  Some of my photos from the lap top with pop in it were saved on it, so I was able to save some of my photos.  I also had downloaded Skydrive and Google Cloud.  Though I haven’t found my Google Cloud to see if anything was saved on it, my Skydrive had several documents on it I needed and so, they were saved.  I’m hoping the lap top with Mt. Dew in it will turn back on and I will be able to retrieve the photos I haven’t recovered yet.  Crossing my fingers and very thankful some of them were recovered.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 5.  Moving on from the pop incident,  we have been under a weather advisory for almost 2 weeks.  First it was snow and some ice.  Then the last part of the week, the highs were in the teens during the day and below 0 at night.  Now, as I type we have already received at least 3 more inches of snow and it’s still coming down.  I’m thankful for the wood stove, again.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              6.  I’m thankful that I have a blog where I can reflect on the past couple weeks as much as possible and find a lit good in a very bad situation.  Each number has the down side, but 1-4 also have an up side!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                7.  I am trying to get back into my yoga and meditation.  Though I need to lose some weight, I haven’t felt motivated.  I decided I would keep a short log at the end of each post on here and hold myself accountable for exercise during the day.  I actually just decided this. lol.  However, I have been meditating and trying to remember to breath as I had stated on my blog on Blogger, My Constant Thoughts, as my 3 word resolution for this year, Remember To Breathe.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                8.  I am thankful for the community I’m in on Google +, Poets of G+.  I had printed out a poem to send in for submission for a small publishing place online.  I was a bit wary because I didn’t think many of the winners poems were well written.  Though, I’m not snobbish at all and I’m still learning a lot.  So, I ask the moderators and anyone else in the group for their input, if they’d heard about this publishing place, etc.  One of the moderators done some searching for me and helped me dig a bit deeper. To my credit, I had not found a scam exactly.  It seemed to be legit and the person running it seemed to have good intentions.  However, even on a letter sent to another magazine by this owner, there were a lot of things misspelled, simple things that just weren’t correct.  So, the question for me to ask myself was did I want to enter a contest where the owner of the page wasn’t concerned about spelling errors, even when pointed out.  I decided no.  I misspell words all the time, but when I’m sending my poetry off, I read, re-read, and re-read some more to make sure everything is correct in spelling and punctuation.  So, I expect the same from someone I’m submitting to.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           9.  I am so grateful to my daughters who are funny, intelligent, and so pretty.  They help me prioritize when I am running around in circles and unsure where to even begin each day.  Insomnia can leave me tired and days running together.  They remind me of why I am me.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      10.  I’m grateful for the other bloggers who do frequently check out post here and stop in on my other blog where I keep my poetry.  I have received very lovely comments on my poetry and on here.  I had someone thank me for my honesty, even in my poetry, and it made my day.  Every now and then it helps just to know someone is reading my blogs and like what they read.   Maybe that’s part of why we all blog………. the human need to reach out to others.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              So, there are my Ten Things of Thankful and thank you Lizzi for hosting this blog, along with other co-host.  I seen Lizzi’s tats!!!  Very nice.  I was thinking about posting a photo to show my gratefulness at some of them being recovered.  I have 9 tattoos.  Very addicting suckers. In honor of Lizzi’s new tat’s, I am posting a photo of one of mine.

 

My 2010 cover up.  Ed Hardy design and I love it.
My 2010 cover up. Ed Hardy design and I love it.
The photo I found for the tattoo artist to go by.  I added a few bubbles here and there, but he done good, considering it was a cover up too.
The photo I found for the tattoo artist to go by. I added a few bubbles here and there, but he done good, considering it was a cover up too.

 

  

My 10 Things of Thankful

Ten Things of Thankful

1.  My two daughters

2.  Hot summer days

3.  Good friends 

4.  My sense of humor (it helps not to stress too much)

5.  Awesome music

6.  Finding great blogs – like Considerings

7.  My White Russians –  they rock

8.  My collection of books

9.  Thankful for all the photos I have

1o.  Being able to pay bills on time – this is a big deal now a days.