Tag Archives: Considerings

Man Doesn’t Have To Be The Cruelest Animal


CONNECTION – (noun) : something that joins or connects two or more things : the act of connecting two or more things or the state of being connected : a situation in which two or more things have the same cause, origin, goal, etc.

Connecting with others, people, pets, even nature, opens up so many different ways in which humans aren’t meant to be alone.  Companionship, relationships, even being comfortable by yourself; which is far different than feeling lonely, or being alone.  So, I have neglected both blogs horribly bad, and I seen this on Considerings.  Lizzi is an inspiration to me.  To write a post about the topic of CONNECTION leaves a lot of room for nothingness.  I suppose I am going to tackle the ways in which my blog allows me to connect to others, social media, and even how neglecting it may have helped me or not.

I would love to say that I’m a published poet, working on a memoir, or a novel of fiction based a lot on my non-fiction life.  However, I truly didn’t pursue writing even though since 5th grade, I knew I wanted to be a writer.  Reading Judy Blume’s book, “Blubber”, is when I really caught on to how an author’s words can twine reality in with each page of the story.  Writing journals throughout English courses in school, and getting a grade to write, to me was heavenly!!!  I suppose I allowed life to get in the way, and now I’m ready to tell life hold on a minute.

Why did I neglect my blogs?  I have been in a relationship with a man I adored on and off for 15 years.  We have lived together on straight for 9 years.  I knew over a year ago that the relationship had reached a point where too many harsh words, spiteful actions, and lonely nights outweighed anything healthy in the relationship.  It became unhealthy.  So, I finally made a decision to leave this situation.  I wanted my two daughters to know if a man disrespects you in a relationship in a way that is harmful, physically or mentally, love yourself enough to leave.  So, lead by example.  It’s been hard.  In the process of trying to transition from being a stay at home mom, to needing a job ASAP, has been stressful.  My girls’ biological father, who has never been a positive force in their lives, decides he should keep them with him for awhile.  Honestly, the nervous breakdown that my bipolar mind needed, the father was in no way trying to help me or his girls.  He wanted them out of state with him for reasons that I won’t go into other than to say he is being vindictive toward his soon to be ex-wife, and not realizing he’s hurting my girls, and ;his son he has with his wife.

In the process of all this, and just life, I decided I didn’t and couldn’t function.  Bipolar disorder is no picnic, throw in a lot of stress, and you get a nice plate of feeling hopelessness began sleeping on my medications that got changed, gained a lot of weight, turned any friends or support systems away, and allowed the depression to rule my life.  By isolating myself, which isn’t hard to do in a small town with the population of 200, I had no CONNECTIONS.  No one to confide in, no one to help me, no one for me to think about instead of wallowing in self pity, and then by not touching my computer, I got rid of my social media connections.  I stopped keeping up with blog hops I admired.  I stopped trying to write everyday, and no words seemed to come to mind.  I logged on last month long enough to see I had over 10,000 unread emails in my gmail account, and I deleted about 50 and logged off.  

I grew up in the 80’s, land of the phones with cords, no caller i.d. , no cells, text, web cam, skype, twitter, facebook, and on and on with the ways people take for granted now. I lived with my grandparents who adored me, but we had 3 channels and Saturday morning cartoons.  I have often, and still do, think that with CONNECTIONS at the touch of a finger, children and adults become lazy.  We deprive ourselves of face to face contact.  Things that should be discussed in private are suddenly posted on Facebook.  Cyberbullying is a huge problem and getting worse.  As if being a teenager isn’t hard enough.  Even grown ups, myself included, say things they wouldn’t say in front of people.  ***Then there is the good part of social media.  More writers receive an audience, fan base, and if self published, they do well.  Online courses.  I have met people on Facebook that I probably won’t see in daily life, but I find myself truly caring about their lives, their children, ect.   My blogs have attracted other bloggers.  I’m proud to say I know several people in the Blog World who are now published.  

What did I learn???  Contact, in person, online, is a natural human longing.  Human beings are for the most part social creatures.  I need to find a balance so that my online connections don’t harm my face to face connections.  Or the other way around.  I learned I can shut myself off from people, but months later, all I have done is waste my time, and the things I needed to be doing, still needed doing, and there it was.  I can’t blame being bipolar on me trying to hide.  I think we all have breaking points.  I also believe we sometimes have to be broken, to realize we’re strong enough to heal.  I believe that people shouldn’t be surrounded by loved ones, nor strangers, and feel alone.  I think more communication, common compassion, and trying to lend a hand to connect instead of losing our empathy is the only way to live peacefully and fully.  As harsh as the world can get, isn’t it better to have CONNECTIONS just to block all the bad from others and pass on generations of caring.

Mark Twain had a quote; “Man is the cruelest animal.”  I have found this to be true over my 38 years.  I would love to see my children grow up in a generation were Man is Kind to other ManKind and to all the animals, nature, and show common respect for all the beauty in the world.  

TTofT on Memorial Weekend

~all gave some, some gave all. some stood true for the red, white and blue and some had to fall. so if you ever think of me, think of all your liberty, and recall, some gave all~

~all gave some, some gave all. some stood true for the red, white and blue and some had to fall. so if you ever think of me, think of all your liberty, and recall, some gave all~

1.  I am grateful to everyone who has served, still serves, and plans to serve in a branch of America’s military.  They risk their lives when they don’t have too, and even if no one agrees with everything on the political side, we in America should all be thankful for our soldiers! 

2. I am thankful that my best friend and I have spoken for the first time since October.  We are related through marriages, and for all intent and purposes, she is my sister.  We both mess up, get mad, but I have missed her horrible, and blood may be thick, but she chooses me as family, the same as I do her.

3. I am very sad that I planned on doing things with my girls this weekend, but their father had planned a beach trip and so I compromised when I truly wanted to be difficult.  I am thankful they are okay, get to spend time with him, his mother, their aunt and cousin.  I am thankful for them both.

4.   I am 38 yrs old, and frankly, I have always been in what I consider long term relationships.  The one I had to end had ran for 9 yrs.  But back and forth for 15 yrs.  I absolutely was not in a healthy relationship.  My girls no longer felt safe.  People can be judgemental but not all women stay because they are weak, scared, or believe they deserve to be treated with disrespect.  I was trying to keep my girls happy while I was miserable.  I had to get out of it and it’s not been easy.  His family’s involvement, moving my life out of his house, and it felt like such a waste of half my life.  But then I realized I am thankful I finally told my girls, I stayed with him 2 yrs longer than I should have, trying to keep them from hurting.  But I needed them to know a man does not treat a woman that way, so lead by example. I’m thankful I made the decision.  

5.   This is in reference to # 4 –  I decided I had to get out of the mess I was in, stop trying to hide behind my bipolar disorder to avoid life, and make a change positive for my girls.  Along the way a friend was by my side.   Actually, he tried being there, but I was worried over the problems it would cause.  As this man made me laugh, after walking in and seeing me crying over my now ex, and as he showed me compassion, understanding, and how someone should treat me, I realized this man was more to me than a friend.  He became my best friend, but I wanted more.  He give me time.  And then hearing him say he loved me, I am so thankful I found love again, because I was jaded and done.  

6.  I am thankful for the people in my life that have still stuck around.

7.  I am thankful that I have been inspired to show both my blogs attention.  Depression and writer’s block took their toll.

8.   I am thankful for everyday that I get a chance to become stronger. 

9.   I’m thankful to all of you wonderful people who take the time to read this and comment.  It means a lot.

10.   I am thankful that I can sometimes remember to reflect on the good instead of all the bad and it turns out, my blessings outweigh the negative.  

Shout out to Lizzi and her TTOT.  You show strength by being thankful and keeping up with your blog.  I admire your strength through the hard times and hope for you to have happy roads ahead.  

Ten Things of Thankful

Nice To Be Thankful


1.   I am thankful for the new man in my life who has shown me love, made me feel appreciated, and given me hope for a brighter tomorrow.

2.   I am most definitely thankful that the weather has gotten up into the high 70’s and according to the weather report, this week is only going to get better.

3.   I am thankful that my two gorgeous daughters will be with me on Mother’s Day.

4.   This may sound simple but I am so thankful I was approved for insurance.  I have been without it since January 31st and since I’m on 5 different medications that I need, buying them out has proven to be a challenge.

5.   This applies to number 2.  I believe, but I am thankful for all the gorgeous plants and flowers that my boyfriend has bought for his flower garden and for his mother’s.  They are gorgeous, bright bulbs of happiness.

6.   I am thankful I lost 12 lbs.  Still not where I want to be exactly.  I didn’t do it on purpose or the healthy way. More like stress caused it.  It’s left me in a weird size of clothes too.  But at least it’s 12 lbs lost and not gained.

7.    I am thankful for the few people in my life that I can go to at any time, and they are glad to see me.

8.   I am pre-thankful that my job search has turned over some new leaves, and hopefully I will be working soon.

9.   I am thankful I got to spend time with my girls’ aunt, their father’s sister.  Her and I have always been close.  So, it was good to see her.

10.   I am thankful for the promise ring my man bought me.  {This should go under number 1.}

In reference to number 5, I will share pictures soon of the flower gardens and of my Wandering Jew Plant. 

This was my flower bed in 2000.  Hoping to make it better this year.

This was my flower bed in 2000. Hoping to make it better this year.

A Little Thankfulness


I may have to run through this list pretty quick, but I’m thinking acknowledging some thankfulness is better than not. Sometimes, it’s a great effort, but worth it. 

1.  Thankful my daughters done excellent on their midterms!!

2.   Thankful my boyfriend’s daughter had her baby last Tuesday, Ms. Annabelle Grace.  Anyone on my Facebook page can see how amazingly beautiful this baby is. 

3.   My 8 year old’s first game, cheerleading for the same school I once cheered for, the Riverlawn Rams.  She has so much energy and loves it.  The Rams also won their first game.  Now my oldest cheered when she was 8 and she was so adorable.  But it was a hassle getting her to cheerleading practice.  She enjoyed the games, but not the practice.  The following year, she played softball and that was much more her style.  Then her little sister played t-ball, but cheerleading is a strength for her.

4.  Glad for the nice weather, although the nights are getting chilly and Autumn is settling in.

5.  With Autumn settling in, I am thankful for the mountains I live in.  The leaves will start changing and the Blue Ridge Mountains are spectacular.  My favorite photos have been taken in the fall.

6.  I was raised religious.  I won’t go into that.  I will only say that it effected how I feel now about religions and such.  However, my granny always said, “When we’re down to nothing, that’s when God is up to something.”  I’m finding that to be true.

7.  Thankful for some of the amazing people in my life and thankful for the ones that weren’t so amazing.  Everything can be turned into a lesson learned.

8.  The saying, “do things for others, and you will feel good inside,”  is very much true.  Just little things can really make a difference in someone else’s life. 

9.  Wanting to go to a dentist, get my license back, and a few more goals are stressing me out.  I believe I need to rethink things or stop trying to accomplish everything at once because I get so overwhelmed when I put too much on my plate.

10.  Thankful that I’m trying to step out from writing poems and focus some on short stories and other genres.  Hopefully, I will get better. 

You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.  – John Bunyon

Easier Way – TTofT



1.  I forgot who showed me, it was either Piper at Piper Punches or Hillary from Feeling Beachie, but they showed me when inserting a code, such as for the photo above, that on WordPress I have to go through the code and redo every quotation mark in it or the photo won’t show.  So, after trying to get the Ten Things of Thankful badge on this post for the 3rd time, I remembered and sure enough…………… I’m thankful it is showing!!! How’s that for a number 1?

2.  I have, as usual, neglected my blogs.  I get so distracted by just life.  So, much to my surprise when I logged onto WordPress they had an option for an easier way to create a post.  Call me cynical but I went ahead with progress, figuring I would go back to the old editor/classic mode.  I’m very much surprised and thankful that the ‘easier’ posting is actually ‘easier’! 

3.  My days belong to my girls whether it’s summer and vacations in Tennessee, or back to school and cheerleading practices, buy this, fundraise this, send this, sign this…………………. and this is fine.  That’s my job and I do it proudly.  Every now and again, I need a break.  Adult conversation, although my 12 year old believes she is the adult, until I have to ground her to get her to clean her room.  Anyway, I am leaving in 5 hours to go to Richmond with a dear friend to the night race for NASCAR!!!  We will be staying the night and coming back Sunday morning.  My boyfriend who loves NASCAR was envious but has been nice enough to babysit so I can go.  I am very thankful for the invite and thankful to get out of the house, ride 4 to 5 hours and watch the race live.  

4.  Grateful for old friends and the time spent catching up on the ‘grown up’ version of the person you knew 14 years ago, and so grateful that this person is still the terric

5.  i’m thankful for sleep.  Anyone that suffers from insomnia can relate to this one.

6.   I’m thankful for my god-son and his girlfriend are expecting a baby boy in January.

7.  # 6 and this one should have been the top 2.  I am grateful that my boyfriend’s daughter is due any day now and after many miscarriages and tears, they finally got there.

8.  This should be at the top also but I’m thankful both of my girls are excelling in school this year, as they have done every year.

9.  Thankful for Pilates.  

10.  So thankful for TTofT.  I know I rushed through these last ones, but I have been doing laundry and I am in a horrible habit of being late for everything.  I can’t keep my friend held up, especially when she is taking me to the races!!!