TTofT ~ Fake It Til You Make It

It seems hard at times to find the “thankful” when I feel more like saying, “No thanks!!!” to life.   As they always tell people in N.A. groups, even if you used, come to the meetings and practice sobriety, a “fake it til you make it” type of mantra.  So, I’ll apply that here today.

1.   Sunshine – This has been a rainy, cloudy, and lower temp type of week.  Today had the ‘blah’ stamp of approval.  Finally, the sun began to shine about 15 minutes ago.  I believe it’s proven in scientific facts, but I know for myself, the sunshine can change my moods, and the gloomy days take a toll on my bipolar mind.  So, I’m thankful to see the sun out.

2.   Good Books – Thankful that I have some good books that I don’t mind re-reading on a cloudy day.  Although I will be even more thankful when I get a chance to grab a new one.  I’m leaning toward “Gone Girl” as my next read. 

3.    Experiences – As I was reading Lizzi’s blog on Considerings, she reminded me that my 10th grade year of high school, our science teacher took 6 chosen students that had went above and beyond in his class, rock climbing in North Carolina on Stone Mountain.  600 ft. of climbing and it was scary, wonderful, and I am going to have to scan the photos the next chance I get.  I’m glad I have gotten many chances to expand my experiences, and looking forward to more. 

4.   Music –  It is true, that as well as the sun, music can uplift someone, remind them of past, can make them feel sad, loved, happy, lonely, and if it’s good music, you will feel as if the song was written and recorded just for you.  This reminds me of my recent trip to Pigeon Forge.  I was able to record on my phone two live bands during our stay and they were fabulous.  I wish I had thought to get their names and perhaps purchase a c.d.  Sidenote to self to look online and see if I round up anything. 

5.   Necessities –  I suppose I do tend to look at the more negative side of things and I don’t remember if I’ve always done so, or if throughout life, I began to do so without realizing it.  I think the latter applies because I don’t recall being anything but happy throughout my childhood, until my grandfather had a stroke when I was 16 and in the middle of my junior year in high school.  Then it seems when recovering from one death, another seems to come along, I began looking at life more harder and feeling more bitter.  So, I want to take a moment and be thankful that my children and myself have what we need.  What we need and what we want can get confusing and run together in my mind.  Once I begin to separate what I need and what I think I need, and then what I want, I realize we have food, shelter, clothes, water, electricity, and the bills get paid, even if a struggle at times.  Then we have things we don’t necessarily need but make the days go by faster, for them t.v., for me the internet and radio, for my youngest her bike.  The small family I do have are caring and loving and so life isn’t so gloom after all.

6.  Pilates –  I am trying to lose weight at the moment.  This hasn’t been a problem for me until recently.  Willpower to stick to an exercise program is where I struggle most.  I still enjoy my evening walks with my god-daughter, my girls, and my two great god-sons.  But when the weather isn’t permitting, and I know I need to add a little bit more, I finally found a Pilate challenge for 30 days.  I haven’t gotten bored and they seem to be doing what they are intended to do.  I’ll admit I have slacked for the past week.  Also, I found the challenge bookmarked because it was to begin 30 days before Memorial Day and I bookmark things like this and forget about them.  Then in my useless attempt to organize things, I stumble across outdated challenges, outdated submissions for literary mags that I mean to submit a poem to, and other such things.  With this though, I figured that better now than never. 

7   My children – This is actually my children and my close loved ones.  Recently, things have happened that are unfair in my opinion.  Living in a small town and with everyone being so close, it has it’s ups.  The downs can really get a person down though.  I will just say that as a mother, I have made mistakes, but overall my girls are well- balanced, know they are loved, exceed in school, and feel free to talk to me about life’s little ups and downs.  We get tested all through life – tested for a driver’s license, tested throughout school, tested for employment, tested on our beliefs, but there are no study guides and then an exam when having children.  We all know how we were raised, we even believe before having children that we will be different or the same as our parents.  This doesn’t happen.  Sure, there are millions of books and articles to read about parenting.  I can’t think of one person who remembers these books when situations in life occur.  I even took Child Care in high school.  Overall, I know there are times I deserve an F and times I deserve an A+.  Thankfully, children are forgiving and resilient creatures.

8.  Blogs – Not only have I found wonderful people throughout the Blogging World, and amazing prompts, such as this one, but I’m thankful I have a place I can turn to and reflect on things I’m thankful for, things I don’t realize until typing, and a place I can keep all my poetry and little random things that make me happy.  I like Facebook, don’t check Twitter as much as I should, and definitely need to post more in my blogs, but just the same, my blogs are my favorite by far on the internet life. 

9.  Sleep – I am grateful for sleep because of insomnia.  I’m also grateful sometimes when life seems to get me down, I can sleep and wake up refreshed and feeling like I can handle anything life throws my way. 

10.  Laughter – Laughter is healthy, healing, and the best laughter sometimes happens when I’m alone and watch a movie that makes me laugh. Or a book I’m reading has a witty sentence that makes me laugh along with the characters.  Memories of silly things that bring a smile to my face.  I think that’s the best laughter of all.  Thankfully, I made it through this week, and am finished with my post for Ten Things of Thankful.  YaY.

 

 

 

 

 

”Ten

TTOT – Little Things

Ten Things of Thankful

 

 

 

1.  I should start this post with the fact I am so thankful I have managed to link up to Lizzi’s Ten Things of Thankful.  I’ve been out of touch too long.  Had a couple of deaths to deal with that came within two weeks of one another.  I would start to link up, and then forget.  Forgetting to be thankful sounds bad enough, so imagine how it feels.  It’s horrible.  Moving on though………..

2.  School was over for the year Tuesday.  I am thankful cause those early mornings are a bummer.  My 6th grader will be heading to 7th in the fall.  My youngest will be heading into 3rd.  I am so proud of them and they both made excellent grades. Also, my god-son, graduated last Friday from high school.  I was very proud and feeling a bit old. After all, my 20th high school reunion is in August. ugh.

3.  Vanity at it’s best,  I’m thankful that I don’t look 37, or at least I don’t think I do.  I am also very, very thankful that other than some mental illnesses, ex: bipolar disorder, physically my doctor said I’m healthy as a horse.  Surprisingly so.  She added I should be thankful because my lifestyle (her words) was a less than healthy one.  She isn’t telling me anything. I lived it. lol.  Actually, my mother at my age had diabetes, liver problems,  and wasn’t in good shape physically.  While I’ve put on quite a few pounds from the bipolar medicine I’m on, I still walk at least 3 or 4 times a week and try to stay in shape.  Go figure, the medicine they finally find that works has the side effect of weight gain. lol

4.  Ah, I added 2 “lol” on number 3.  I’m feeling very thankful for the sunshine and summer is my favorite season.  The weather has been gorgeous with the exception of a couple nights ago.  It stormed all night and we were under a tornado watch until 3 a.m.  That in itself is crazy because I live in southwest Virginia, snuggled in the heart of the Blue Ridge Mountains along the Appalachian.  We were told in school how tornadoes didn’t touch down if you live, literally on a mountain.  I do.  My small town is called Parrott Mountain.   However, 2 years ago 2 tornadoes touched down in my county and ran over what is called Draper Mountain, ripping the trees up, destroying homes nestled in the mountain, and didn’t even slow down.  In fact, once leaving the mountain, it continued across the interstate, wrecking a gas station and several other things before finally breaking up.  Thankfully nobody was seriously injured, but you can imagine the devastation because nobody in this area prepares for tornadoes.  Or at least didn’t until this happened.

5.  I am so grateful for the few personal friends that I have in my life.  I have found the saying “when you are down and out, you find out who your friends are.”  I have known this for quite sometime.  In fact, so much has happened in my lifetime, nothing truly shocks me anymore.  “Man is the cruelest animal of all.”  (Mark Twain).  Just when I thought I couldn’t be shocked by anyone’s behavior, sadly, I learned I still can be surprised when someone I’ve been close to since the age of 11 needed my help and I didn’t mind at all.  Except when it came time to pay me back, my phone isn’t blowing up, and I’m having a difficult time getting back what is owed.  It has hurt my feelings, which I have always handled by getting angry.  In the long run and grand scheme of things, $20 will not make or break me.  Understand though, $20 is what is left after she has paid me in payments for 4 weeks.  It put me in a bind somewhat being paid back that way and now I’m being avoided.  I don’t want to lose a friend over $20, but it’s a slap in the face they are willing to lose me.  (Breathing In – Breathing Out – Deep Breaths). Moving along……………

6.  My boyfriend’s daughter is having a baby!  She is due in August and she’s his only child, well, he does help me raise my daughters and he’s their “dad” in every sense of the word.  Their father loves them, of course, but he’s 7 hours away in Jacksonville, N.C. and visitations was not his strong point when he lived 30 minutes away.  They have gotten to spend a month with him for the past two summers.  Last year, they were in his wedding and they did actually spend their first Easter away from me, ever, to go to N.C.  In actuality, he sees them more a state away then he did when he lived here. ***Back to the topic at hand***  So, my boyfriend is getting ready to have a granddaughter and I’m so excited.  Her shower is coming up.  She is healthy, glowing even, and her boyfriend is a stand up guy.

7.  I read Lizzi’s list about gardens and work.  I have been very proud to keep my Wandering Jew Plant alive and wandering.  It’s a hard plant to kill but I figured I’d be the one to kill it.  In fact, it has branched off, hanging from the table it sits on, until I need to transplant it to a bigger post.  So, I was at Wal-mart yesterday and decided to purchase a few flowers to go into the  ready made flower garden.  We moved an entire curve away from my home, into his grandmother’s home who had passed away and began renting my home where my grandparents raised me.  Along with this house came a very nice looking flower bed, but it has shrubs and such in it, and needs to be tended to.  I bought some bright, smaller flowers to go around the edge.  I plan on planting them this evening after the sun has started to go down.  I could be wrong here, so any one that has a green thumb, feel free to chime in:  Isn’t it best to plant them and water them once the sun is setting so I don’t fry them?  Thanks.  

8.  I am thankful for the walks in the evening with my god-daughter, her 2 sons, and my girls.  It’s peaceful, exercise, time with her and all the children, and most of the time we share in a lot of laughs.

9.  I am thankful that I spent time with my best friend’s mother on Mother’s Day because she passed away last week.  I am so glad my girls got to see her because they knew her as MeeMee.  Her spirits were up.  We were laughing about the past, talking about when my grandmother passed away, and her mom passed away that evening.  Meaning my grandmother that raised me and my best friend Brandy’s grandmother raised her, and them passing away on the same day was so strange and unreal.  We took it as a sign from God because He knew without one another, and understanding each other’s pain, we’d never gotten through the loss.  Vicki and I spoke of the trouble her daughter, Brandy, and I had gotten into growing up.  Vicki had a way of making everyone feel special to her.  Her laughter was contagious.  I know the angels need laughter too and she’s not in pain anymore.

10.  I am thankful for the little blessings in my life that I sometimes overlook.  Things like my daughters’ making me cards at church, my god-daughter’s visits, the sun shining, having enough money to pay the bills, and having everything we need.  So this concludes my Ten Things of Thankful and I’m so glad I began the first weekend in June linking to Lizzi’s blog.

10 First Noticeable Things

Wow. My own list is a bit harder than I thought.  Here we go though:

 

1.  I notice someone’s hair usually first.  

I have grown up with naturally curly/frizzy hair and until after high school, I always wished it was straight.  Also, since I was young and seen the movie Red Sonja,  I love women’s hair red.  My hair was red when I was born and then turned darker around 4 years old.  I still have red tints but in high school I tortured my hair with red dye until it felt like straw, not to mention the straightener didn’t help.  Now I have learned to love my curls.       As for men,  they can seem to get their hair cut the same way forever and it’s cool.  Men can ease into grey hair looking distinguished,  like George Clooney.

2.  Clothes.  

I am not huge on trends.  Everyone has a style.  I tend to notice if their clothes are appropriate, wrinkled, fits them well. An example would be last Thursday, my oldest daughter graduated 5th grade.  This wasn’t a formal event.  They didn’t have caps and gowns.  My best friend, my god-daughter, and I showed up in simple dresses.  Nothing fancy, but this was a huge deal for all the children.  We all have sweatpants days.  I did notice that some of the parents looked like they just rolled out of bed, barely getting to a brush.        Once again, men can be more relaxed on this subject.  Not so much with sweatpants.  But if they wear jeans or khaki pants, either way, as  long as they look nice, it is okay.

3.  Smile

I notice if someone is smiling and friendly.  Along with that comes their teeth and such.  Not everyone can afford dental work when needed, but if it’s someone who needs dental care and they have say a huge wad of tobacco in their jaw, it’s a turn off.

4.  Eyes

I notice eye color and if their smile reaches their eyes.  Some people smile with their eyes and I love that.

 

5.  Sense of humor is huge with me.

I have a weird sense of humor that not even some of my friends understand.  If someone is funny and makes me laugh, hell, I may overlook the wad of tobacco.  lol

6.  Height.

This is just natural to notice if I’m having to look up at someone or if they are a natural height.  My best friend is 4’11.  My oldest daughter is now her height.  My boyfriend is 6’3.  So, his height gets noticed.  I’m an average 4’5 and 1/2.  (Funny how women always add the extra half)

7.  Personality, good or bad?

It doesn’t take long to notice if someone is a genuine good person or if someone is arrogant and annoying.  I like a good personality that isn’t fake but isn’t mean and hard to deal with.

8.  Fingernails.

I always notice if women have their nails done.  Not that I keep mine fixed.  I go through stages where I will have the fake nails put on…. or now the gel nails.  Then when it comes to my own natural nails, I keep them trimmed pretty short, sometimes painted.  I notice on men and women if their fingernails are dirty.  I am forever cleaning my 7 year old’s nails and trimming them up.

9.  Laughter.

Some people have a laugh that is contagious!  Although it is awesome to have a great sense of humor, I can’t help but notice if someone has a weird laugh or snorts when they laugh.  If it’s a likable person, I can deal with the most annoying laughs.

10.  Confidence. 

When I meet anyone for the first time,  I notice if they seem relaxed or nervous.  Do they have confidence in themselves.  I like to be around people who are comfortable in their surroundings and enjoy meeting people.

 

So, there is a list that was hard to write.  I think we all notice these things when meeting someone.  Thank you  Stasha, for using my list!!    http://www.northwestmommy.com/2013/monday-listicles-101

 

 

Happy 100th. Listicles Rocks!

HAPPY 100TH TO MONDAY LISTICLES!!!!   SO HERE ARE THE TOP 10 REASONS I LOVE MONDAY LISTICLES: 

1.   Gives me different topics to think about and sometimes coming up with 10 is a challenge.

2.  Fun to write out my list, read other’s list, and meet great people.

3.  Since Monday’s seem to bum people out, this is a great way to relax.

4.  Some post make me realize and learn a lot about me.

5.  I learn a lot about others in what they write in their post.

6.  Most list are funny and it’s wonderful to see how different everyone is yet somehow kinda the same.

7.  Inserting images into my topic list rocks!

8.  Gives me a blog post to write about because it’s not easy coming up with something all the time.

9.  Not as strict as the challenges I do enjoy.  This is just a list with no right or wrong answers.

10.  Who wouldn’t love being part of a blogging world that just had their 100th anniversary?  Very awesome!

 

http://www.northwestmommy.com/2013/monday-listicles-100